Fast! Fast! Fast! You live in a fast world. If you are like most people you speed through the minutes, hours and days of your life trying to keep up: With whom? With What?
With everything. “I’ve got a lot to do today,” you say. “I’m running late you say.” “I’m behind,” you say. Run. Run. Run. Sound familiar?
You may be racing through life trying to keep up, but the speed of life keeps accelerating. People tell me, at work they have more to do and less time to do it in. And aided by technology, change happens at a faster and faster pace.
In today’s world, you are not trotting down life’s country lane as in a one-horse buggy, you are roaring down life’s super highway as in a 1000 hp turbo charged race car.
And there’s an interesting little problem…. you are frequently driving blind.
That’s right. You often may not know where you are going, or even why you are going there. And you often you don’t see the pitfalls ahead. Why? Because, you are not aware.
You are often not are not aware of the emotions that influence your thoughts and your choices. You are often not aware of the subtle but powerful forces that compel your behaviors. As a result you may not be fully aware of the choices you make that determine your results.
“Wait a minute” you say, “I am pretty aware.” Well if you are you are in the minority. In the last 15 years I have worked with thousands of people and completed emotional intelligence assessments on hundreds of them, and most had very low ability to recognize and understand their emotions. In fact, if you are like most, you are not even aware of what you are not aware of.
But, this is not about keeping score or judging you, I am trying to make a point that is important to you no matter how aware you are.
In today’s world, living without awareness is like racing in the dark without headlights.
I doubt if you would get in your car tonight and drive at 100 mph down a dark road without headlights. So, why would you do that with your life?
Consider this, what you are aware of empowers you. What you are unaware of has the power to control you and sabotage your success and happiness.
Here’s an example: John is going through a contentious divorce right now. His emotional blind spots made it impossible to see the crisis coming or to see the choices he was making that contributed to a failed relationship. This divorce could be an opportunity for John to become more aware of himself, but what does he do?
Unaware of how his fear of being alone is driving him, John begins a romantic relationship with a co-worker, right in the middle of the legal, financial and emotional turmoil of his divorce. John is also unaware of how his new romance is headed for trouble at warp speed. He’s also not aware of how his emotions are affecting his workplace behavior and he is racing toward a wreck on the job.
“OK you say,” that’s John. “Clearly he’s got a problem but that’s not me and besides I have a great marriage.”
This is not about marriage of course and the consequences of your lack of awareness may not be so extreme, but if you want the most of your life they matter.
Your awareness affects things great and small: Which email you read and when, or what you type in response affects your time management and your relationship management at work. Or, you might choose to fall in love with an iPhone or a new car neither of which you may need or be able to afford. Or, what you say to your children and how you say it affects your domestic tranquility but it also shapes their life.
So how aware are you, really? How aware are you of the emotions that move you moment to moment? How aware are you of the forces that influence you in the thousands of choices that you make every day? To what degree are you racing in the dark?
There’s a solution to your need to be aware, of course – pay attention.
Learn to be aware and mindful!
You have the biological potential for very keen awareness. Your body/mind is elegantly designed to pick up every nuance of life’s experience. The many ways to develop emotional self-awareness is another conversation, but you can start to develop yourself now by doing two things:
1. Commit to being aware. Remind yourself periodically throughout your day and week – “I can choose to be aware.”
2. Use an awareness break. Pause at intervals throughout the day to ask yourself – “What am I doing right now and what’s moving me?”
As you increase your focus of attention you will begin to notice things you were not seeing before. And the more aware you are the more empowered you are.
Joseph Liberti
You are free to distribute as long as you keep this bit: Joseph Liberti, founder of EQ At Work, coaches leaders and coaches to liberate authentic power and creativity with emotional intelligence. Your questions and comments are welcome at jliberti@eqatwork.com for the podcast version of this post and many other motivating tips visit www.yesyoucan-podcast.com
