Let Go Of Control With Emotional Intelligence
August 24, 2008 | 1 Comment
Are you addicted to being in control?
Recently several people wrote to me about their need to control. In one case, by “overprotecting” adult children and in another by limiting the “negative” effects of change in the workplace.
Trying to stay in control at all times and control all things is exhausting and limiting. When we are compelled to try to change the situation, ourselves or others we are really emotionally hijacked. We struggle to stay in control as an alternative to dealing with our feelings. Being out of control provides the illusion that we are safe.
In this post you can take an assessment and get an idea of how much of an investment you have in control. You can also listen to my most recent podcast on the subject. at www.yesyoucan-podcast.com and while you are there, check out more free podcasts on using emotional intelligence.
Joseph Liberti
Click Here To Take The Assessment
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Assure A Great Day With Emotional Intelligence
April 22, 2008 | Leave a Comment
You can assure that you have a great day using a skill of emotional intelligence to shift your attitude.
Your attitude can be described as your outlook, point of view, or way of thinking. It is the lens through which you view your world and it shapes your experience. If your mindset is pessimistic you see the glass as half empty and every one of life’s challenges is a problem. If your mindset is optimistic, you see the glass as half full and every challenge is an opportunity.
Your attitude is also a product of your ability to use emotional self-management - The skill of positively influencing your emotional state to shift from discouragement and disappointment to an encouraged and optimistic attitude.
“Oh Yeah,” “I’ve heard that attitude stuff before” you say. But are you taking your attitude for granted and underestimating your power to create your experience of life?
Your attitude can transcend even the most difficult of situations.
Victor Frankel, who faced death daily in a Nazi concentration camp, wrote in his book, Man’s Search for Meaning, “Everything can be taken from a man or a woman but one thing: the last of human freedoms —to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.”
So, shift your attitude right now.
Simply acknowledge that you are feeling discouraged and that you can choose to adopt the mindset that today is going to be another wonderful day to be alive. Tell yourself that everything you encounter is another opportunity for learning or happiness. Your thoughts have power - The power to influence your emotions and….what you think about is what you create.
And, if that voice of pessimism rises within you again, just tell it “thank you for sharing,” say to yourself, ” a part of me wants to feel discouraged but I can choose to have a great attitude right now.”
Key: Acknowledge emotional state before shift.
Don’t just ignore your emotions. I have found in working with my coaching clients over the years that the shift works best when you first acknowledge and accept your present emotional state and then choose to shift.
Do you have the power to assure a great day? Remember what William James, the famed psychologist said, “The greatest discovery of my generation is that human beings can alter their lives by altering their attitude of mind.”
Joseph Liberti
PS
You can listen to a recorded version of this topic and more at www.yesyoucan-podcast.com
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