Emotional Intelligence Or Emotional Expression?
July 9, 2008 | Leave a Comment
Yes, effective emotional expression is an emotional intelligence skill that can be developed.
Here’s a request from a letter received from my “Ask The Coach” form today:“I have recently been reprimanded at work about an emotional outburst during a staff meeting. My boss’s boss told me that she felt disrespected during the meeting and I have been tasked to read a book by Goleman. They say I need to work on my emotional intelligence. I would argue I need to work on my emotional expression. I felt very strongly about an issue and I let me feelings be known. I believe I have emotional intelligence and I need to work on my expression. What do you think?
My answer:
Be A Certified Emotional Intelligence Coach
July 7, 2008 | Leave a Comment
Become A Certified Emotional Intelligence Coach…
The EQ At Work Advanced Method For Coaches and facilitators
Register Now For This Free Webinar
This webinar is for you if you are ready to:
- Take your coaching to the next level
- Increase your consciousness and your ability to delight in life
- Claim your niche in the burgeoning EQ market
- Launch an EQ initiative in your organization
- Fulfill your role in transforming the planet
- Become a highly regarded and sought after executive or leadership coach
If you are now ready to go to a deeper level in your own personal development, want a way to take your clients to a deeper level, and are especially interested in personal and organizational leadership, I invite you to join me in a webinar that will give you the inside story on a program in which you will transform yourself, transform your ability to coach and and gain a proven method to liberate authentic leadership and authentic living in others.
Register Now For This Free Webinar
Get answers to these questions and more:
- What is the difference between EQ coaching and regular coaching?
- I already completed coaching school and learned to coach, what else can I gain from this?
- How can this help me launch EQ in our organization?
- What materials does EQ At Work provide?
- What is the EQ At Work method? How is it different from other certifications?
- How does your coaching and training integrate with EI assessments?
- How do I market myself and EQ coaching and training?
And much more!
Register Now For This Free Webinar
Invitation To A Brain Scan For Sharon Stone
July 4, 2008 | Leave a Comment
Promoting emotional intelligence with neurophilosophy?
Animal rights group PETA has offered Sharon Stone a free brain scan in an effort to see if her lack of empathy is the result of a physical defect in her brain.
This is, quite obviously, a publicity stunt. But research does indeed suggest that moral decision-making is impaired in patients with damage to the ventromedial prefrontal cortex.
Fortunately for all of us, absent physical damage, EQ and empathy can be infinitely developed with practice.
The Difference In EQ At Work Coaching?
July 1, 2008 | Leave a Comment
Image via Wikipedia
She asked, “So, what’s different about EQ At Work coaching?”
That’s a great question and one that I frequently asked when talking about the EQ At Work EQ Coach Certification Training
There are many differences and here’s one of the biggest and most important: EQ At Work coaching focuses on the level of cause and not just the level of effect. Or, to use medical terms, EQ At Work coaches are trained to address the level of cause instead of just dealing with the symptom.
In my experience of training and mentoring coaches over the last 10 years, I observe that it is most common for coaches to work on the “symptom” and not the causes.
Always Late
For example, let’s consider the client who is always late. The effect or the symptom is lateness. Focused on that effect, the solutions offered tend to be things like: Get a new calendar system or PDA, Set a reminder in your Outlook calendar so that you hear the tone or get reminded by email. Or, set your watch ahead so that you actually show up on time. Or make your appointment at an easier time to keep. etc.
This approach doesn’t deal with the underlying issue of what is really causing the client to habitually be late. Asking the client, “Why are you always late?” is not the best coaching question. It may cause defensiveness or excuses. And if the client could really honestly answer that question they might have solved the problem.
Most effective coaching doesn’t give much weight to the externals either, like: “my car broke down, my kids slow me down, my alarm doesn’t wake me, etc.” If we focus there we go to things like, “get a better car, baby-sitter or alarm clock.”
Those ideas might be useful but, no matter how many different corrections are made to correct the symptom, the client frequently ends up with the problem persisting. If you want proof, check your own experience for times when you have tried to make a change by working on the “symptom.”
The Emotional Agenda
It is important to recognize that being late is a choice and one that is made for a good reason, stimulated by an important emotional agenda. The client has a blind spot and doesn’t recognize the choice or the agenda. But, until you get to that level nothing will really change. You get the appearance of change, temporarily and the back to business as usual.
Coaching Can Help - EQ Coaching Enables A Quantum Leap
Please hear me correctly. I am not saying that most coaching isn’t beneficial. Coaching can increase awareness and support the client to develop new behaviors in pursuit of their goals. And, there are many competent coaches. By focusing at the level of cause coaches and clients can make a quantum leap in transforming limiting behavior into purposeful action.
EQ At Work Certification
What the EQ At Work Coach Certification does so well is give coaches a method to help the client discover the combination of thoughts, feelings and actions that are the cause and make new choices that are consistent with their real purpose and values.
If you believe that the real measure of success in coaching is lasting beneficial change of behavior, then learn to work at the level of cause. I invite you to explore our EQ Coach Certification. And, your questions and comments are welcome.
Joseph Liberti
EQ At Work
Copyright 2008, Joseph Liberti. Feel free to distribute as long as you keep this bit: Joseph Liberti Coaches leaders and coaches in liberating authentic creativity and power using emotional intelligence. Questions and comments welcome at jliberti@gmail.com or at www.eqatwork.com. Tund in to Joseph’s podcast at www.yesyoucan-podcast.com
Sneak Preview - An even better EQ Coaching program
June 3, 2008 | Leave a Comment
This is what the EQ At Work coach training has been offering up ’til now:
Command The Skills of Emotional Intelligence Coaching
Become a certified EQ Coach while you learn a proven, step-by-step method for developing emotional intelligence, gain advanced coaching skills and claim a big bonus …Your authentic self
Now, the best just got better! Read on…
I love EQ Coaching! In the nearly twenty years I have been doing it I estimate I have provided about 4000 hours of individual and group EQ coaching. During that time I have developed some methods that bring extraordinary client success. These principles, practices and techniques are the basis for the EQ Coach Certification.
One part of the course that participants rave about is the one hour of personal mentor coaching in which they get support to be more effective with a real client. Here’s the big news:
Starting with the September 2008 Certification training, each participant will receive two months of mentor coaching with me. Oh yes it’s true, I won’t be able to take on as many students in this format but that’s OK with me. I prefer to passionately support fewer committed coaches to excellence and success in coaching.
A bonus: I will also support the participants to use my two business methods that have generated six-figure results - Coaching on your feet and Group EQ coaching.
The first new class begins September 10, 2008. Registration opens in July. The tuition will be comparable to our past courses and will be quite affordable. I can only accommodate 8 candidates for this course. I will announce a webinar to preview the course soon. If you are interested in being on the list write me at jliberti@eqatwork.com
I look forward to working with you,
Joseph Liberti
Sphere: Related ContentTake Our Survey - Enter To Win An iPod
May 20, 2008 | Leave a Comment
10 days left to take our survey and enter to win an iPod
What you have to say is important to me. Take our quick 10 question survey and tell me what you think of the Yes You Can Podcasts. Do it by Jun 1st and you will be entered to win a new Apple iPod.
What’s a podcast? Find out how to access and use these great free resource.
Joseph
Sphere: Related ContentYes You Can! Emotional Intelligence For Living… In A Podcast
May 20, 2008 | Leave a Comment
Emotional intelligence, inspiration, motivation and tips for living are all part of the Yes You Can Podcasts and they are yours free.
The Yes You Can Podcast was originally created over a year ago to provide motivation, inspiration and tips for participants in the EQ At Work Training programs. 50,000 downloads later is has become a service that people all over the world are using for daily encouragement and development ideas.
Here’s what some listeners had to say:
- “I have listened to the podcasts daily in an effort to work on my own emotional intelligence. I have found them calming and extremely helpful.”
- “The most amazing thing about Joseph’s podcasts is that I always seem to hear a message that’s appropriate to the real challenges I’m facing in life.” I feel extremely fortunate to have access to this tremendous wisdom.”
- “Motivational, inspirational, uplifting and wise. I listen to a lot of podcasts and this is one of the best.”
- “If you have a tendency to get down, lose hope, or get seduced by negative tapes, listen to Mr Liberti and you will break out.”
What’s a podcast and how do you tune in? Read podcasts explained to learn how you can easily access and enjoy this rich resource.
Sphere: Related ContentEmotional Intelligence - Awareness At The Speed Of Life
May 20, 2008 | Leave a Comment
Fast! Fast! Fast! You live in a fast world. If you are like most people you speed through the minutes, hours and days of your life trying to keep up: With whom? With What?
With everything. “I’ve got a lot to do today,” you say. “I’m running late you say.” “I’m behind,” you say. Run. Run. Run. Sound familiar?
You may be racing through life trying to keep up, but the speed of life keeps accelerating. People tell me, at work they have more to do and less time to do it in. And aided by technology, change happens at a faster and faster pace.
In today’s world, you are not trotting down life’s country lane as in a one-horse buggy, you are roaring down life’s super highway as in a 1000 hp turbo charged race car.
And there’s an interesting little problem…. you are frequently driving blind.
That’s right. You often may not know where you are going, or even why you are going there. And you often you don’t see the pitfalls ahead. Why? Because, you are not aware.
You are often not are not aware of the emotions that influence your thoughts and your choices. You are often not aware of the subtle but powerful forces that compel your behaviors. As a result you may not be fully aware of the choices you make that determine your results.
“Wait a minute” you say, “I am pretty aware.” Well if you are you are in the minority. In the last 15 years I have worked with thousands of people and completed emotional intelligence assessments on hundreds of them, and most had very low ability to recognize and understand their emotions. In fact, if you are like most, you are not even aware of what you are not aware of.
But, this is not about keeping score or judging you, I am trying to make a point that is important to you no matter how aware you are.
In today’s world, living without awareness is like racing in the dark without headlights.
I doubt if you would get in your car tonight and drive at 100 mph down a dark road without headlights. So, why would you do that with your life?
Consider this, what you are aware of empowers you. What you are unaware of has the power to control you and sabotage your success and happiness.
Here’s an example: Read more
Sphere: Related ContentEmotional Intelligence - Who has more, men or women?
May 14, 2008 | Leave a Comment
Often participants in my EQ workshops have asked, “Well aren’t women naturally more emotionally intelligent than men. My answer , based on my experience of coaching men and women over the years has been, “Not necessarily.” I have found that both men and women have their unique strengths and their unique lessons to be learned. What it finally comes down to is that using emotional intelligence is a choice.
Gifted writer Barbara Ehrenreich makes that point very well in this article, using the Democratic candidates:
Barbara’s Blog
“Hillary Clinton smashed the myth of innate female moral superiority in the worst possible way – by demonstrating female moral inferiority. We didn’t really need her racial innuendos and free-floating bellicosity to establish that women aren’t wimps. As a generation of young feminists realizes, the values once thought to be uniquely and genetically female – such as compassion and an aversion to violence – can be found in either sex, and sometimes it’s a man who best upholds them.”
Who has more emotional intelligence men or women? What do you think?
Joseph Liberti
Sphere: Related ContentEmotional Intelligence - Confronting What’s True
May 13, 2008 | 2 Comments
Use emotional intelligence to deal with your fears of confrontation.
Reflections from a coaching conversation yesterday:
Client: “I thought his web site was not clear and complete and people were not getting the correct information they needed. I didn’t say anything because I didn’t want to hurt his feelings.”
What’s Really Going On?
Have you ever said or thought something like that? Consider this perspective: Who is that statement really about? “I don’t want to say anything that would hurt his feelings,” is really saying. “I don’t want to say anything that would risk hurting my feelings.”
It affirms that you actually do have control over other’s feelings and they have control over yours. Neither is really true. No one can make you feel anything unless you choose it. You are each responsible for your own, thoughts feelings and actions.
Try This: If you are in that situation and looking for a differnt approach try this:
Reflect: Identify your real feelings when you anticipate confrontation. (Don’t just stop at “I’m uncomfortable” or “It’s unpleasant.” Go to the deeper level of feeling you really don’t want to feel. Maybe it’s the sadness of loneliness you don’t want to feel if the confrontation were to result in you being left alone.)
Label: Put a name to the feeling and claim ownership of it. It’s about you, not them. Saying and accepting the feeling gives you more command of your self.
Re-Frame - In the context of serving others: What can you say that would serve this person?
Re-Structure – In the context of possibility: Put your statement in the form of a question. EG
- What affect do you think this website copy has on potential clients?
- What would happen if this said…?
- I found this easy section easy to misunderstand. What if others were having the same difficulty?
- Is there another way of saying this?
How do you deal with confronting what’s true? What works for you? What doesn’t?
Joseph Liberti
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